Let it be whatever it will be. Give up trying to manipulate. This is Freedom.
Just as you wash your hands before eating, clear your mind before engaging with the world.
Sometimes consciousness devises an obstacle in order to have the experience of transcending it.
The operation of consciousness has created the 'apparition' called 'me'.
When you drop all your ideas, fantasies and projections about who you are and what freedom is and remain completely empty, this is freedom.
Your heart is the light of this world. Don't cover it with your mind.