We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one.

I have a tree man coming to trim the jacaranda in my front garden.

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.

I like to think of myself as a New Yorker, which is pathetic.

Everyone has flaws. It's a matter of finding the ones you can live with.

Your own experience keeps taking you towards something. My book adds the hope that it's a better something.

If there's anything more mortifying than being famous at 14, it's being washed up right after.