What am I always going to do? I'm going to go home and freak out.I'm going to sit with my family and try not to talk about myself and what's wrong. Im going to try and eat. Then I'm going to try and sleep. I dread it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?

I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine - I'm here." "Is there something wrong with that?" "Absolutely.

It’s a huge thing, this Shift, just as big as I imagined. My brain doesn’t want to think anymore; all of a sudden it wants to do.

I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of living.

And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.

Things to do today: 1) Breathe in. 2) Breathe out.

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.