No," mom says, looking at me in the eyes. "What's a triumph is that you woke up this morning and decided to LIVE. THAT'S a triumph. that's what you did today.

You all right, man?' This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man. Ah...' I stumble. Don't bug Craig,' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out.

That's what gets me through the day. Knowing that I could do it. That I'm strong enough to do it and I can get it done.

And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.

I know a lot of famous people didn't do well at school, like James Brown; he dropped out in fifth grade to be an entertainer, I respect that... but that's not going to be me. I'm not going to be able to do anything but work as hard as possible all the time and compete with everyone I know all the time to make it.

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed.

I've started to think it must just be chemistry, in which case we're looking for the Shift and we haven't found it yet.