I'm not staid and unbiased here. I have certain biases I want to convey, and if you disagree, that's fine.

A lot of lawyers are set to tell me that it's not my fault I like to eat.

With Iran's long history of lies and non-cooperation, why are we talking to them? Why are we giving them legitimacy?

I'm not staid and unbiased here. I have certain biases I want to convey, and if you disagree, that's fine.

Happy birthday Obamacare! Five years ago today you came into our lives and nothing's ever been the same since! Our insurance premiums have skyrocketed and our doctor choices have plummeted.

We're a nation of liars. But I mean that in the kindest sense.

I'm the reason why I'm overweight. No one made me do it. I did it.