We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.
Nhat HanhShallow understanding accompanies poor compassion; great understanding goes with great compassion.
Nhat HanhI would not be happy if I could not become a monk. They call it the beginner's mind - the deep intention, the deepest desire that a person may have. And I can say that until this day, this beginner's mind is still alive in me.
Nhat HanhWhen we come to the table, we shouldn't negotiate right away. We should spend time walking together, eating together, making acquaintance, telling each other about our own suffering, without blame or condemnation. It takes maybe one, two, three weeks to do that. And if communication and understanding are possible, negotiation will be easier. So if I am to organize a peace negotiation, I will organize it in that way.
Nhat HanhWhen we speak, we want to say something sweet, but we don't say something sweet because something is ordering us from deep down to say something unkind. We want to open our hearts to people, but we can't do it, because we are being ordered around by the sufferings we have concealed deep in our consciousness.
Nhat Hanh