You don't ask people with knives in their stomachs what would make them happy; happiness is no longer the point. It's all about survival; it's all about whether you pull the knife out and bleed to death or keep it in.

Between the ages of fourteen and twenty-four, foreplay changes from being something that boys want to do and girls don't, to something that women want and men can't be bothered with. ... The perfect match, if you ask me, is between the Cosmo woman and the fourteen-year old boy.

Sometimes we have to be judged by our one-offs.

We can't be as good as we'd want to, so the question then becomes, how do we cope with our own badness?

I miss him like one might miss a scar, or wooden leg, something disfiguring but characteristic.

I have a really low boredom threshold.

What went wrong? Nothing and everything.