The truth about life was that nothing ever ended until you died, and even then you just left a whole bunch of unresolved narratives behind you.

I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments.

The trouble with history is that there are too many people involved

And what would happen if we never read the classics? There comes a point in life, it seems to me, where you have to decide whether you're a Person of Letters or merely someone who loves books, and I'm beginning to see that the book lovers have more fun.

Sequels are very rarely a good idea, and in any case, the success of the book changed my relationship with the club in some ways.

Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn't.

He's at the chocolate teapot end of the competency scale.