It is the act of reading itself that I miss, the opportunity to retreat further and further from the world until I have found some space, some air that isn't stale, that hasn't been breathed by my family a thousand times already.

Life isn't, and has never been, a 2-0 home victory after a fish and chip lunch.

Between the ages of fourteen and twenty-four, foreplay changes from being something that boys want to do and girls don't, to something that women want and men can't be bothered with. ... The perfect match, if you ask me, is between the Cosmo woman and the fourteen-year old boy.

I can see that now. I can see everything once it’s already happened — I’m very good at the past. It’s the present I can’t understand.

Definitely avoid going out with ugly girls who say they want to be models. Not because they're ugly, but because they're mad".

The point is you keep going. You want to. So all the things that make you want to are the point.

But then, that was the trouble with relationships generally. They had their own temperature and there was no thermostat.