I gave the graduation speech at my high school. Not because I was valedictorian but because the grade voted for me to do it. And I gave a slightly contentious speech. I was a little critical of the administration. But for a long time it said on Wikipedia that I took my balls out and exposed myself to the crowd.

Oftentimes the shows that don't work help you get it right.

I think Trump thinks of himself as pretty important, and now rightfully so - because he's the President of the United States. You gotta dream big, and we're all so proud of what the Donald has been able to accomplish... following through on his dreams of taking fast food dumps on a plane.

My first job. I got fired from this MTV prank show, or I didn't make the cut of what ended up being, as we all know, Boiling Points. It was my first professional job and I was bragging.

I came to New York and started doing stand-up and improv, and started auditioning for commercials and voiceovers and stuff. My first job was on a pilot of that prank show called 'Boiling Points' on MTV.

You want to be gentle with the people you're working with if you know them.

I have what I guess is medically known as a farting problem.