If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?

I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.

I'm always pleased that I managed to stay out of jail throughout my tenure in Chicago.

I don't know what it is on an elemental level, but a beard in general evokes hedonism. It's a more lush personal grooming style. It's more comfortable and cozy; it's less sharp and angular and businesslike. I feel like a beard is more Hobbit-like, even though Hobbits themselves are clean-shaven.

I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.

Technically, we're all half centaur.

I'm a very intermediate sax player, but now that Rob Lowe is on my show, I had to cop to him. Like, 'Dude your ridiculous fake sax playing [in St. Elmo's Fire] inspired me to pick up a horn.'