For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees.

I never went too long without a job. The problem was a lot of the early jobs are almost more demoralizing than unemployment.

I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.

Just stand up for your principals and be loyal to your friends and family.

I'm opposed to a lot of the time that we as a civilization have come to spend looking at screens. For my money, life is much delicious damn near everyplace but inside that screen.

Shut your damn mouth.

My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities.