Whenever I have a stubborn position on something, I take a deep breath and swallow myself.

The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.

Shut your damn mouth.

Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.

No matter how you decide to spend a little more time on your gestures of giving, the point is just quite simply that you do.

The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe. That way they come to expect fumbling and clumsiness and they say, "Oh, it must be a charming part of his personality."