Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

I had always drawn, every day as long as I had held a pencil, and just assumed everyone else had too…Art had saved me and helped me fit in…Art was always my saving grace…Comedy didn’t come until much later for me. I’ve always tried to combine the two things, art and comedy, and couldn’t make a choice between the two. It was always my ambition to make comedy with an art-school slant, and art that could be funny instead of po-faced.

I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.