Having been married so many times, I know that one of the few things I am an expert in is falling in love.

These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.

Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine.

Maintenance is what you have to do just so you can walk out the door knowing that if you go to the market and bump into a guy who once rejected you, you won't have to hide behind a stack of canned food. I don't mean to be too literal about this.

I’m really not interested in women as victims. Look at me, I get the last laugh ‘cause I get to be funny about it.

When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.

It's always a shock to the people who run studios when a movie that is for women is a hit. They have an infinite capacity to be shocked.