I wish the English still possessed a shred of the old sense of humour which Puritanism, and dyspepsia, and newspaper reading, and tea-drinking have nearly extinguished.

It takes a wise man to handle a lie, a fool had better remain honest.

It seldom pays to be rude. It never pays to be only half-rude.

Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.

To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him...two.

No great man is ever born too soon or too late.

How hard it is, sometimes, to trust the evidence of one's senses! How reluctantly the mind consents to reality.