I remember reading these articles when I was younger, and I just felt like, well, in order to look like that, you have to have some secret, magical unicorn blood that makes carbs disappear as they go into your body. I prefer the truth.

Know what the best thing about insomnia is? That I get to stay up all night figuring it out.

I know a lot of people have a hard time talking dirty - they dont know what to say, how to start, or when to end it. Also, at first they will think they sound ridiculous. And they might. But let me just say that talking dirty is so important in sex. And its pretty easy. To wit: Establish from the very beginning that you like this. And trust me, you want to do it early on. Because if you wait too long to introduce the concept, your Special Lady Friend will be a little thrown and might not take you seriously.

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.

I grew up in a military family. I was moved around from school to school, so people aren't always the most welcoming to new girls in school.

Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.

I love horror movies and I love being scared, but I don't like them, if they're not based on a true story. It's like knowing how the sausage is made.