I'm always trying to understand who I want to be, what I want, what I dream of. When I was a kid, I was really worried that my parents were going to bring me back to the orphanage. I was scared of tomorrow, scared that I was going to be abandoned again. So I tried to enjoy every minute of my life because maybe tomorrow wasn't going to happen. I think I live the same way today: scared of tomorrow. For someone who is considered a party boy, a guy who just has fun and drinks champagne, I'm really tortured.

It's amazing to see there aren't boundaries around gender. My menswear business has changed over the years as far as what men are daring to wear. And women, too. Men wanted to look tough, but now they realize you don't have to look like your granddad or dad. You can show a more feminine side.

Sometimes I feel fashion is not open-minded enough. We need to push the old crowd to believe in what I believe, in the new generation. I remember when I started, my campaigns and and how I connected my love for music with fashion were a tiny bit controversial because they were like, 'How can you bring hip-hop or music into a luxury world?' or 'How you can be so connected to digital and use social media in luxury world?' Now it's changed, obviously, for the best, but I still think that we could push a bit more.

What makes me sad in fashion is that everyone is looking for trends. A trend is one thing. Timeless is another. In 20 years, I've seen so many trends. It makes me sad when people go for the trend versus quality or vision. Or when people wear something so basic just to make sure they're considered cool, like a white t-shirt.

I've learned that I am strong enough. When some people might have given up, I didn't. I found myself in situations where I had to make choices and I followed my instincts. You can't show people you're learning, because if you do, they will treat you like a kid. You have to grow up faster, not showing any fragility.

I actually am locked away. I think I have 4.6 million Instagram followers, which is obviously a great way to communicate my work and my life. But it's also a form of protection, because I don't want everybody to see my process. What I want to share in the pictures I post is something dreamier than reality. I love solitude. I love escaping into my mind and sketching. Sometimes I travel alone. I'm the first one at the office in the morning, the last one closing the door. People don't expect that, because on Instagram I have a reputation as a party boy who takes selfies all day.

There are two women that I am really in love with that I wish I could have dressed: The first one is Marilyn Monroe, and the second is Whitney Houston. People always ask me who's going to be the next, and I never know, but I know I would love to have had Marilyn and Whitney wear Balmain.