I'm always trying to understand who I want to be, what I want, what I dream of. When I was a kid, I was really worried that my parents were going to bring me back to the orphanage. I was scared of tomorrow, scared that I was going to be abandoned again. So I tried to enjoy every minute of my life because maybe tomorrow wasn't going to happen. I think I live the same way today: scared of tomorrow. For someone who is considered a party boy, a guy who just has fun and drinks champagne, I'm really tortured.

You're taught that you need to please magazines, to please the fashion elite, and that if you do everything the right way, everyone is going to love you. But I decided not to follow some of the rules. My girls from the runway were not just models - they were soldiers. They helped me bring my ideas to life. I was talking about sexiness, about diversity, about different shapes of bodies. I was following my instincts and learning that it would not please the fashion elite. And I think this is the real luxury, to be free to express yourself. Freedom is luxury to me.

I've learned that I am strong enough. When some people might have given up, I didn't. I found myself in situations where I had to make choices and I followed my instincts. You can't show people you're learning, because if you do, they will treat you like a kid. You have to grow up faster, not showing any fragility.

It's really sad to me that we even have to talk about diversity in the fashion world today. That I would love to change. Diversity should be normal.

Even if I'm the youngest in the group, I'm the one taking care of everybody. I'm always in control, which means that I can see what everyone around me is doing, what they're going to do. At the end of the day, I make sure to never let go of that control.

I think the only word I can use to describe what I'm doing today is feeling free. Of course, it's a business - it's about money at the end of the day, but it's about ideas as well. When you treat fashion only like a business, you're not going to go anywhere; when you push on that, we have the chance to express ourselves.

When you become controversial, when you want to promote new ideas, you need to be the face of it and not be scared.