A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

Good evening, ladies and gentleman. My name is Orson Welles. I am an actor. I am a writer. I am a producer. I am a director. I am a magician. I appear onstage and on the radio. Why are there so many of me and so few of you?

It isn't worth it. No money is worth this... [walks out]

Movie directing is a perfect refuge for the mediocre.

My definition of success is not having things thrown at me!

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

In attempting to explain F For Fake's state-side failure, it has occurred to me that perhaps the subject matter was at least partially to blame, and that this country is so blissfully enslaved by the notion of the special sanctity of the expert that an overtly anti-expert film was bound to go too much against the national grain.