I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.

Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement. Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. When one is in love one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. This is what the world calls a romance.

It is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in private life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold entrees.

The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.

If people are dishonest once, they will be dishonest a second time. And honest people should keep away from them. (Lady Chiltern)

When I see a spade, I call it a spade. I'm glad to say I have never seen a spade. The man who would call a spade a spade should be compelled to use it. It's the only thing he's fit for.

...The two great turning-points of my life were when my father sent to Oxford, and when society sent me to prison.