When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Disobedience is man's original virtue.

Examinations, sir, are pure humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!

A writer is someone who has taught his mind to misbehave.