We should treat all the trivial things of life seriously, and all the serious things of life with sincere and studied triviality.

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Two men look out a window. One sees mud, the other sees the stars.

Niagara Falls is simply a vast unnecessary amount of water going over the wrong way and then falling over unnecessary cliffs...The wonder would be if the water did not fall.

The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray.

There is no country in the world where machinery is so lovely as in America. It was not until I had seen the water-works at Chicago that I realised the wonders of machinery; the rise and fall of the steel rods, the symmetrical motion of the great wheels is the most beautiful rhythmic thing I have ever seen.