There are only two kinds of women, the plain and the coloured.

It is chiefly, I regret to say, through journalism that such people find expression. I regret it because there is much to be said in favour of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

When I ask for a water cress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. We all have clouds above us but some see their silver linings. We all face difficulties but some of us are grateful that they aren't worse.

Oh, he occasionally takes an alcoholiday.

I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don’t interest me. They have not got the charm of novelty.

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.