Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

With subtle and finely-wrought temperaments it is always so. Their strong passions must either bruise or bend. They either slay the man, or themselves die. Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The loves and the sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plenitude.

Some temptations are so great it takes great courage to yield to them.

When one pays a visit it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time, not one's own.

When I went to America I had two secretaries, one for autographs, one for locks of hair. Within six months the one had died of writer's cramp, the other was completely bald.

The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them.

Whenever one has anything unpleasant to say, one should always be quite candid.