A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

The world seemed to me fine because you were in it, and goodness more real because you lived.

I didn't have a life until I went up onstage.

...The two great turning-points of my life were when my father sent to Oxford, and when society sent me to prison.

What a silly thing love is!' said the student as he walked away. 'It is not half as useful as logic, for it does not prove anything, and it is always telling one of things that are not going to happen, and making one believe things that are not true. In fact, it is quite unpractical, and, as in this age to be practical is everything, I shall go back to philosophy and study metaphysics.' So he returned to his room and pulled out a great dusty book, and began to read.

A process which makes one rogue cleverer than another.

If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times