I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

I have never killed anyone, but I have often read about some guy getting his ass taken out with great pleasure

The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

George Moore leads his readers to the latrine and locks them in.

The face of the enemy frightens me only when I see how much it resembles me

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.