Ah, on what little things does happiness depend! I have read all that the wise men have written, and all the secrets of philosophy are mine, yet for want of a red rose is my life made wretched.

Just to let you know that the buffet car will be closing for stocktaking in five minutes. The next station stop is Chesterfield.

Marriage is a long, dull meal with dessert served at the beginning.

Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement. Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. When one is in love one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. This is what the world calls a romance.

I think life too complex a thing to be settled by these hard and fast rules.

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.

It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I have made it, something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one should never put one's worship into words.