Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their distinguishing characteristic.

In England it is enough for a man to try and produce any serious, beautiful work to lose all his rights as a citizen.

When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing that consoles me. Indeed, as any one who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink. At the present moment I am eating muffins because I am unhappy. Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins.

At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets.

Niagara Falls is simply a vast unnecessary amount of water going over the wrong way and then falling over unnecessary cliffs...The wonder would be if the water did not fall.

Irony is wasted on the stupid

He to whom the present is the only thing that is present, knows nothing of the age in which he lives.