The ministry of fear that won't let you live. The ministry of grace that doesn't forgive.

I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.

I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside source. Whatever it is, frankly, I hope it's not what I think … Satan.

I'm a very simple man. You've got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off... and the nightmare continues.

The road to nowhere leads to me.

We were always told we were one step behind Deep Purple, one step behind Led Zeppelin, one step behind everybody. Our manager didn't want to let us know how popular we were. It's only after we did Ozzfest that people started telling me stuff. I thought they were taking the piss. People would come up to me and go, "Respect."

Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.