The road to nowhere leads to me.

My son Jack just got out of rehab, he's 17 years old and he got hooked on Oxycontin and I'm just a little pissed off that he never gave me a few.

Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the f-ck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!

It's all part of my journey - I've done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes.

I wanted to be the fifth Beatle.

I've been in rehabs with hardcore heroin addicts who say, 'I've kicked the heroin, but I can't let go of the tobacco.' I haven't smoked a cigarette in a long time. I like being clean now.

I'm a very simple man. You've got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off... and the nightmare continues.