I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.

Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.

We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.

I am strongly of the opinion that, after the age of twenty-one, a man ought not to be out of bed and awake at four in the morning. The hour breeds thought. At twenty-one, life being all future, it may be examined with impunity. But, at thirty, having become an uncomfortable mixture of future and past, it is a thing to be looked at only when the sun is high and the world full of warmth and optimism.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.