One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.

He groaned slightly and winced like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.

Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.

I wonder what Tommy Morris would have had to say to all this number 6-iron, number 12-iron, number 28-iron stuff. He probably wouldn't have said anything, just made one of those strange Scottish noises at the back of his throat like someone gargling.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.