She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season

Well, you know what the Fulham Road's like. If your top-hat blows off into it, it has about as much chance as a rabbit at a dogshow.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.

Half a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a hot cha-cha.

What I'm worrying about is what Tom is going to say when he starts talking." "Uncle Tom?" "I wish there was something else you could call him except 'Uncle Tom,' " Aunt Dahlia said a little testily. "Every time you do it, I expect to see him turn black and start playing the banjo.

Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.