It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard.

Do you ever get moods when life seems absolutely meaningless? It's like a badly-constructed story, with all sorts of characters moving in and out who have nothing to do with the plot. And when somebody comes along that you think really has something to do with the plot, he suddenly drops out. After a while you begin to wonder what the story is about, and you feel that it's about nothing—just a jumble.

No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

Routine is the death to heroism.