Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.

I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.

Well, you know what the Fulham Road's like. If your top-hat blows off into it, it has about as much chance as a rabbit at a dogshow.

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.