Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

I clutched at the brow. The mice in my interior had now got up an informal dance and were buck-and-winging all over the place like a bunch of Nijinskys.

Golf is the Great Mystery. Like some capricous goddess, it bestows its favours with what would appear an almost fat-headed lack of method and discrimination. On every side we see big two-fisted he-men floundering round in three figures, stopping every few minutes to let through little shrimps with knock-knees and hollow cheeks, who are tearing up snappy seventy-fours.

...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.

One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.