As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.

Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.

She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.

the ice was not only broken; it was shivered into a million fragments