What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.

[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster

Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author's life.

Well, you know what the Fulham Road's like. If your top-hat blows off into it, it has about as much chance as a rabbit at a dogshow.

A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.

you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?