Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

If we're free to do what we want, why does government always have a plan for us?

Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

I am no stranger to loud music. I've been to a Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels concert. I once dated a woman with two kids.

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

When I get in deep water, I prefer to announce that I'm in over my head.

Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since.