Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There'd be gum machines that dispensed chewing tobacco if you lost. You could gamble for the toilet paper in public bathroom stalls. And fill out Keno cards in an attempt to win cancer therapy at the hospital.

Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most money. Look at the housing projects we've got the poor people in.

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

I'm a political conservative.

Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"

The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.