Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

Like Rick in Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris." When what we'll always have is, like, Brooklyn and arguments about [Lev] Trotsky.

Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman.

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.

[Al] Franken is left-wing and funny. He's a pretty good political humorist.