The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.

We are a nation that worships speed and power. And for good reason. Without power we would still be part of England and everybody would be out of work... Bicycles are too slow and impuissant for a nation like ours. They belong in Czechoslovakia.

B students work for C students - A students teach.

Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.