Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.

Self-interest leads to honing your skills, the better to trade with.

Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough.

The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15 we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.