One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow ... It is impossible to be alive and safe.

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.

Political stuff is all about his [Hunter S. Thompson] reaction to a situation. And my stuff is much more externally driven.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.

The political process consists entirely of politicians talking out of their butts.

When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.