When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .
P. J. O'RourkeWe'll run this planet as we please, and if you don't like it, go back where we came from.
P. J. O'RourkePolitics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.
P. J. O'RourkeNow majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But like other precious, sacred things .... it's not only worth dying for; it can make you wish you were dead. Imagine if all life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza.
P. J. O'RourkeWhatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.
P. J. O'RourkeFreedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights - the "right" to education, the "right" to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery - hay and a barn for human cattle.
P. J. O'Rourke