It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s. Liberals would still be fumbling with the federally mandated trigger locks.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since.

A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.

It's much better to have your arguments dismissed because you might be joking than to have your arguments dismissed because you're not telling the truth.

The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm.

The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American presidential candidates in the year 2000 - to everyone who believes that wealth should be redistributed. And that message is clear and concise: Go to Hell.