Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.

The Constitution is an equally forthright piece of work and quite succinct ... giving the complete operating instructions for a nation of 250 million people. The manual for a Toyota Camry, which only seats five, is four times as long.

Industrialization came to England but has since left.

You read [Bill ] Maher's book, and he didn't take Econ 101. All his arguments about gasoline, it's not that they're right or wrong - they're just not informed.

Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.