A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails.

Jesse Jackson was spending time with his family, or families.

During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

I'm a political conservative.

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.