Like Rick in Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris." When what we'll always have is, like, Brooklyn and arguments about [Lev] Trotsky.

The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you.

The dominant type of humor in the '60s was essentially defensive and self-deprecating, using humor as a shield.

Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent!

I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?

Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.