Commies love concrete.

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. Being a Republican, I'm backing Hillary Clinton. Because she could lose. The reason is not that she's a woman. The reason is that she's the particular woman who taught the 4th grade class that every man in America wished he were dead in. Hillary Clinton is Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. Hillary Clinton is "America's ex-wife."

Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck.

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.